The furor is beginning... the Holidays continue to merge one into another as Christmas decor faces off against Halloween across the isles. The soggy economy is a moot point, I think, for the hype of BUY BUY BUY for the winter holidays seems to change little in intensity from one year to the next.

Everything from cars to homes through useful gadgets and clothing to unnecessary geegaws, produced only to separate us from our money and add to the landfills... all is being hyped with increasing fervor... and we are not even to Thanksgiving yet!

Yes, you probably all know that I have never been "a consumer" in the classic sense. Though I no longer have it on my wall, the motto "Use it up. Wear it out, Make it Do or DO WITHOUT" is indelibly etched on my brain. Not that I don't every buy stuff, mind you... and I have even been known to engage in "retail therapy" of a sort... but in my world there is much more focus on DOING than on HAVING. And, quite frankly, I think that is the better way.

I have been reading about the new and "serious crowd control" measures some of the major retailers have been planning for the post-Thanksgiving buying frenzy and several thoughts cross my mind. The first is "Thank the Gods I don't have to deal with this" from either side of the counter. And the second is that you don't either.

Even if you do plan lavish gift giving and holiday decorations there are other ways to get there.... Planning ahead is just one... What if they gave a sale and no one came? And they cut prices and still no one came? Do you supposed they might get the idea that a FAIR price, every day, was the way to go? No, probably not.. but no one ever said that I am not an optimist! LOL

But once again I take my stand to promote "Buy Nothing Day" not to cripple the economy but to bring some sense of SENSE to the marketplace. We don't need to be fighting (and even dying) over STUFF, folks. Yeah, I am likely preaching to the choir here, I know... but the more who stand up and say "NO.... not this way, not this year" the better.

For myself, from Thanksgiving day through the first of the year, I do not set foot in anything like a department or big box or discount store unless it truly is an emergency. Pretty much, I go to the Post office, the bank, a grocer or two and pick up petrol, kero and propane... and by pulling back from the fray I have the chance to relax and enjoy the season of darkness more as it feels to me it needs to be experienced...

I'll be in the "monkey business" in a few days (making stuffed toys for Grands from the old red heel socks) and finally making the yarrow salve that I have had the ingredients to make for a few weeks now. I'll jar up the remainder of the dried herbs, paint hex signs, fuss with the web and read. I'll bake goodies and clean the office and -- weather permitting -- likely just spend some time sitting and watching the snow fall. There are snow shoes to wear and doggies to walk, and lots of time to plot and plan for the coming of the Light. And once the Yuletide has passed, there will be plenty of time to think about buying again, as the seed catalogues drift in with the blowing snow.

Buy Nothing Day --- give it a thought. and consider expanding it... "Take the perspective gained from your 24-hour moratorium on consuming and apply it to the most hectic and wasteful shopping period of the year: the holidays. Make this holiday season a time to reflect on your consumption habits instead of expanding them." --AdBusters.org

A reporter and photographer from the Bangor (ME) paper were out a few weeks ago to interview me.

The article is appearing in the weekend edition of the paper, on line and print.

A question posed by a friend  brought again to mind something that has been nagging at me to be written for some time... my observations and thoughts on what appears to me to be a "disconnect" for those who try to follow Northern paths and who live in southern lands.

I have been reading a bit in Northern Tradition for the Solitary Practitioner in which the authors attempt to make some sense of the variety of NT paths. They make note that there are some who postulate that only folks of northern blood can hear, and will be accepted by, the Gods.

It was while reading this part that my mind was drawn to contemplate my entry onto the Northern path and how my spiritual path affected -- or at least paralleled -- my desire to return to the northlands in "mundane life."  For the first year or so of my walk with Frigga and my exploration of NT, I lived on the coast of NC. Admittedly, while I felt strongly drawn to the marshes and wetlands of the southern version of Down East, the climate left me wanting on most all counts. I cherished the rare days in the dark seasons when I truly felt Winter, longed for days that truly felt like Autumn, felt that Spring came far too early and left the Earth (and me!) with scarcely enough time for rest and, dare I say it, hated summer -- the season when even as it rose, I felt attacked by "Old Brazen Face" for months on end.

I am a Northern gal and have always been. I Identify with the North (direction) and Earth (element, which is abundant in my chart as well), and earth is the focus for most of my hobbies and passtimes. My first, and closest, animal of power is Bear. So in many mundane and spiritual ways together it makes sense that I should want to live in the north. And these factors, I believe, made my awareness of what I call the disconnect between the NT and living in the Southlands much, much more apparent.

Now, I am not going to say that one cannot live in the south and follow a northern path, or that one should not. But I am going to say that I cannot imagine doing so, happily and successfully, for a long period of time.

It seems to me that, when one truly immerses themselves in the words and wisdom, in the though and mindset, and becomes surrounded by the Gods and Goddesses and the Ways of the North, that it would be inevitable that the call of the north become unavoidable. While I realize that mundane concerns of job and even family -- especially when they do not share the Path -- might trump the Call, it puzzles me not to sense more awareness of the apparent disconnect in the writings of southland practitioners. I understand "bloom where you are planted" and "making the best of things" believe me! But at the same time when one is doing that, there is generally some sense projected that this is what is being done.

How one can truly appreciate Ice and Fire as the source of the beginning, when there is only Fire, and ice is sometime to be made, in small quantities in a white box in ones kitchen, is beyond my comprehension.

To my mind there is no wondering how to decide when Winternights has fallen, if you live in the Northlands. It hits you like a ton of bricks, as darkness envelops you both morn and eve, as the trees suddenly shake, and in an instant the riot of color blankets the ground, as the first tendrils of winter wind howl around the dooryard and yes, as you hear the Hunt ride by over distant trees. Our ancestors did not strap clocks -- or sundials -- to their wrists nor was the passage of days -- in my mind at least -- as regemented and buttond down with appointments and dates. The read the trees and the animals, put a finger to the wind and felt the changes around them, knowing inherantly when it was time to put up for the winter. Their survival depended on it! And even though there is a grocer down the street and days divided up by pens and paychecks, the times and tides along the Northern path still hit like a ton of bricks... when you live in the Northlands.

A couple of observations from the past two days...




Autumn is tinged with melancholy,
A sweet good bye to summers end,
as to a friend
you know you’ll see again.

------------------------------

Falling leaves tuck us into bed,
Billowing piles and crazy quilt lawns
Evoke the comfort of winter nights
Burrowed in down and tucked, with love,
In cozy flannel and woolen hospitality.

I just officially dropped out of doggie training class. For now, at least... I am hoping that I can at least audit the last few classes at some future date. Timing of the classes, and finding time to work with the pup, just were not even close to optimal.. they were just not happening.

It was hard to just shoot off the email without explanation other than reassurance that I was not an unhappy customer.  But I think I am going to have to learn to do this, and to learn to make more "maybe" commitments as time rolls on.

You see, my specialty through the years has been "no matter what" commitments... it happens or I MAKE it happen. But things change and that isn't working now. 

It might very well have something to do with working 3 jobs. Might have something to do with two of them being client/customer driven (and there I am not willing to give up the "no matter what" commitment; that's just how I do business!) And then there is my getting back to a seasonal /agricultural  lifestyle. This has proven to be a thorn in the side of my interactions with the larger community before, when folks don't understand that "there is a time to sow and a time to reap" isn't just metaphor. 

And add on top of that, a partner whose health is waning, steadily and significantly -- despite finally having decent medical care. It may not sound like much, but this time last year, he could sit at the computer all day long, doing research, playing WOW or the like and could rouse sufficient energy to do household and other tasks as needed. A year before that, even the task of laying carpet in our small office reception area (which, by the way, was a bear and a half of a job!) was just one of the tasks he did during the day. Yes, he complained of the pain... but he could do it. 

Now, he gets winded just walking to the garage; cannot stay awake during the day and even with naps cannot summon the energy, strength or endurance to do much. Putting away the dishes is a major job (though he can still do it at some point during the day) He often says that he used to be "a planner and a do-er" but now can be neither, and that is pretty much dead on. His thinking is affected sufficiently that he must pick and choose times in which he has sufficient clarity to plan out a simple project like designing a replacement for the back steps.  One's afternoon's work (with my help) got the boards for the sides cut to size. Assembly of the sides will also need my help, as will cutting and attaching the steps.

So, not only must I deal with the psychological aspects of his decline, there is little that must be done here on he ol' homestead that my hands don't end up having to touch.

And meanwhile, there are still leeks (25') and Brussels sprouts (100') and carrots and beets (just a few) remaining in the garden, as well as all the tall stuff which must be whacked down with the scythe, perennials that much be mulched (with SOMETHING... I wonder if I can still get some of that mulch hay and where the $ is coming from to buy it...)

And while I never thought I was much of a "schedule" person, I am finding that K's total lack of schedule... of falling asleep randomly... being awake randomly... is throwing me for a loop. Just simple stuff like eating.. if I make enough for 2, and it is not something that can "hold" will it be waste? If I make enough for one, chances are about the time I sit down to eat, he's awake!  And I do try to keep him eating healthy, trying to buy good stuff and not empty calorie junk, it is hard to keep grab and eat food around that is good for a diabetic.

Sorry about the whine...  sometimes it just helps to write as I try to figure out the balance point here.

Over the last little bit, I have been feeling somewhat disconnected and frustrated to boot with my rituals honoring the moon phases and my weekly sit-down with Frigga by the fire.

At least part of the problem is my extremely busy schedule, and the fact that I work (and honestly prefer to work) weekends at the store. For practical purposes, since I am marked an not available on Tuesday and Thursday (which are set aside for Kevin's medical appointments and on which days we run our town errands as well) it is most helpful to ME if I do have an extra day off, for it to be a Wednesday. Which means that  I get home from work, somewhere between 9:15 and 9:30, often very tired and footsore as Friday is, winter or summer, one of the busiest evenings.

By the time am able to transition from a particularly frantic bit of mundania to an headspace in which I CAN sit with Goddesses, I am often too tired to do right by them.

During Needfire last week, I brought this issue before the Ladies and was given a most obvious solution: put Frigga first! 

On a daily basis, I do this... greeting her and the day as part of my morning rituals, just after posting the Words of Wisdom and before the "penny dance" (a mini prosperity ritual I have been doing for years, as I put a penny -- these days often accompanied by silver change as well. into a cornucopia with a small invocation).  But what They had in mind was my performing the whole Hearthfire/Needfire ritual on Friday MORNING, before tackling whatever bits of work I can get done before heading to the store.

I have not yet done that ritual, but it seems that just knowing that I am going to as soon as breakfast is done and I am dressed, had helped my mental state. It was almost palpable to me as I tied up into bunches the herbs I had washed last night, a task done while waiting for the oatmeal to cook, and as I did my everyday morning ritual as well.

Hail, Frigga!

I was recently interviewed by email and the interview has been posted online.

We have been enjoying autumn colors... this was the view on the way to Dover-Foxcroft for K's counseling meeting. Shot from the hill in Charleston, ME looking north. And after that appointment we went hunting covered bridges we had seen, so as to be able to share the locations with a friend down east in Maine.



This is Low's Bridge, Willimantic, ME (a ways past Dover-Foxcroft) Google map




I found this one "accidentally" on my first vacation to Maine. One could not drive over it then. Who would have expected it to be in my new home town! Robeyville Covered Bridge in Corinth, ME google map



And last night's project result... I moved all this lumber, which we had ordered from a small lumberyard, into the garage so as to be out of the rain today. This represents my back steps and deck (front, boards lengthwise to camera) and the dog fence (boards in back, stacked 4 deep -- this bit is an order of  "cull wood" that cost md $40!). My muscles are stiff today from moving all this!

I am either lazy or busy, not sure which, but I did get these shots of birds this morning... a huge flock that I could hear running along the roof and see swooping odwn to eat on the front lawn.

I have no idea what they are, but there were a lot of the critters!

For years, it seems, the dark seasons have been my time to be out and about -- visiting and doing all the things in the community and with friends that most folks do in what is, for me, the busy summer season.

This year seems destined to be different. Not only have I been pulling in during the summer, but I am feeling a stronger need, even, to pull in more as autumn approaches.
There is the garden to finish and put to bed, the house to weatherise and secure and after a year of living here, what needs to be done inside and the priorities are beginning to show themselves.

But even more so than this, am I looking forward to much time of solitude and thought. So if you don't hear much from me, that is likely why.

I will respond to prodding for a sign of life, and will try to do so not as a hibernating, grouchy bear... but I may not have a lot to say. Doesn't mean I care about any or all of you out there any less.

What a week it has been. I have been working hard at the store, in the garden, at the stove (canning) and in the paint studio. And getting projects for the next few months for the design studio as well.

And when I work (at the jobs where there are not people around at least) I think, contemplate, cogitate and meditate. I see, find and follow threads.

One of the threads that has presented itself several times of late -- and has caused me to count my blessings -- is that of relationship endings. Three friends -- one very close and two less close, but no less liked -- have been part of break-ups of late. Of these three, the ones remaining (for the present at least) in the area or in some sort of communication are all guys. And being guys, mostly not given to a lot of chatter. But they are no less hurt and confused, just a bit less likely to sit around raking the coals with a woman friend. I am sure that the economy is a thread in at least some of these breaks.

One woman is badly stressed out by having found her youngest child is very, VERY sick, on top of (in my opinion) their being over their heads financially with the purchase this summer of an owner-finance house. When she was initially talking about the place, it had that "too good to be true" feeling but she and her fella saw none of the red flags. She moved in based on her commitment to working massive hours at a local nursing home and him working good job as well. But he has a history of many jobs/lay-off and such and that proved to be the case once again. Though he is working again now, his income is not enough to support the family, even at a subsistence level, while she stays home to care for their youngest. They have had a tumultuous relationship in the past and I learned last night that she moved home to her parents the previous day. He is camping out in a relative's basement, having let the house go, to be able to save and eventually move to where she now is and he hopes to get his old job back. I wish them well and think they might have a chance.

Another friend had his wife take the kids and head back home to another state some time ago. I dunno much about that, other than he misses the kids terribly. He is once again an over the road trucker, though earlier in the year or late last year I believe he sold his truck as he could no longer make a profit. Not sure if his being home made things better, worse or had no effect... but I know there is a phenomenon of returning spouses (like from the military) having issues with fitting back into the household full time.

The third situation is the one I am closest to and my only conclusion here is that the woman I knew must have never existed. She and I used to talk farming and gardening, goats and chickens and I cannot count the number of times she said she loved her animals. Now I don't know what to believe, as I was told she was going out of state for a week, and told a long story in confidence about why (which story gave NO indication she was sour on her marriage). We had a verbal agreement for working together this summer, but I was ok with the one week absence... but I was NOT ok when it turned into 2+ weeks even though she had assured me, point blank, that she would be in time for a particular engagement. I got into the middle of a big boondoggle with mutual friends on a social networking site when I chose not to break confidence and disclose what I had been told was the reason behind her absence. Now, as I say, I don't know what to believe. Before she "un-friended" me on the site, her posts were cryptic or mundane -- as if she were someone else talking about the daily bits of an existing life -- not someone who had run away from spouse, and her own parents who she had basically caused to move into her home. Now it seems she is attempting to write "the Maine years" totally out of her life. I just don't understand.

What I do understand is making sure you know your self -- well -- and being true to your self when you make commitments. And when, by chance, you discover you have gone down the wrong path (yes, it does happen to us all) extricating yourself gently and gradually. I understand throwing out the bathwater, I guess, and keeping the baby.
And even though I am not one to worry about "what other people think" I do understand that all our actions set off ripples across the web and that these ripples go much farther than even the best of us can see. I understand that seeing this CAN be paralyzing, but that we need to proceed with care and all the truth and honesty that we can muster, regardless.

I understand Intent and that it can do much, but it cannot "cover thy ass" when you make an ass of yourself.

I have learned that working with Intent and honesty and a truthful heart can bring you blessings far beyond what you might have hoped/prayed/been willing to ask for.
Which brings to me to what I guess amounts to an "thankful Thursday" place...

For I am thankful for K, for the fact that he tries and usually doesn't miss by too much, and for the fact that he keeps trying.
And I am thankful that even though I no longer am IN NC, the Cape Lookout National Park folk want me to work on their big annual newsletter.
And I am very thankful that my friend, and museum director, survived her car accident and is still forging ahead (albeit with chronic lack of sleep and hurting head) and has asked me to work on their annual publication as well, one more time. Fall was going to feel very empty without it.
And I am thankful to the Gods for giving me the Words of Wisdom each day to share
and for the hex sign orders, which just keep coming in. there is seldom a time these days that I do not have a hex in process for someone.
And I am thankful for having found our home. Even in my wildest imagines when we sell a lottery ticket at the store and the talk turns to "what would do do if you won" I cannot imagine living anywhere else than on this 4 acres.
And I am thankful for my health, for the fact that my body continues to work, even though it often hurts.
And for having the time and space to write this.

Blessed Be.

After a long and rainy summer -- followed by a couple of weeks of dreadful heat and humidity --the days are visibly getting shorter and the cold fronts are bringing actual cooling now. I sit here in the early morning, wearing sweats, though I will have to change before I go out, as we are expecting summer temps (low 80s, this is as hot as it ever need be, in my book) again today. Tomorrow, and the weekend. look to be a forerunner of autumn though and I am SO looking forward to it. Not that I wish it wish away the year -- there is still much to do before Samhain which I have set as the "buttoned down for winter" deadline. But the cool weather will make the work possible.

I haven't blogged recently as life has been very full. My weedy garden continues to surprise me with produce ( and I likely have still more cukes, and maters to pick, an I know there is half a row of red onions that need doing, and some of the beets as well. I've put up one batch of pickles and there will be more. At least I managed to get a box of wide mouth jars, this time!

Hexing has been going well, too. So well, in fact, that I have yet to complete the written interview I have been asked to do. Hopefully before the end of the week, despite another order for 4 indoor signs and the rush I put on one last night to ship to New York. I was contacted yesterday by Gourmet magazine, wanting to borrow several for potential use in a photo spread, as background. I will get credit if the shot makes the cut, so after some discussion, I am sending several of the 10-12 inch signs I have on hand, plus I quickly painted one of the small change signs that they liked so much. Cross your fingers we make the cut!

I have been spending a lot of time carrying K back and forth to appts and sitting in medical offices and it looks to continue for a while. At my mention of a need, his main doc referred him for physical therapy, so there will be that 2x a week. First appt is tomorrow, in Dover. Today we go back to Bangor to get the leads removed from his 24 hr. EEG. He is terribly worried that he is going to start getting bills for all of these expensive texts, and that they will continue to show nothing abnormal -- despite the fact that he is NOT right, and indeed that the neurologist did see strange things during his exam. He has a dental appt next week, as well.

I am "running away from home" for a day on Saturday, though! (maybe with, maybe without K, depending on how he feels) to go to Caribou to the National Weather Service open house. I am hoping to learn more about their trained weather observer program, as we are now part of the Community Collaborative Rain, Hail & Snow Network (CoCoRaHS) . I urge everyone who is interested in the weather to log on, sign up and pony up for the wonderful "official" rain guage that we are required to use.

Since it is such a long ways out to Caribou (about 3.25 hrs according to Google maps) I have decided to make a day of it and visit Madawaska (the most northely town in the continental US), about an hour farther on, and then head over to Fort Kent (20 min) before coming back down 11 (a little over 2 hrs, they say, but likely more with photo stops -- hoping for MOOSE! and then back home, nearly another 2 hrs on 95 and such. Despite the fact that it will be a grueling drive -- I do not not long drives well any more -- I am thoroughly looking forward to the day, especially since I have the following day off to recoupterate.  Hopefully pix will be forthcoming!

I am sorry that the weather decided to make up for the cool and damp of early summer and give Maine (and indeed, it seems, much of the east and north eastern US) the entire summers worth of heat in a week. If you have read my blogs for long, you know my opinion is that 80 degrees is as hot as it needs to get. And that by that, I do NOT mean "mid-80s" or gawd forbid the "high 80s" to 90+ degree temps that are forecast for today. [metric translation: My opinion is that 27 degrees is as hot as it needs to get. And that by that, I do NOT mean "low-30s" or gawd forbid the "mid-30" degree temps that are forecast for today.]

It is too hot to move, too hot to breathe but yet the garden still needs weeding and especially needs water, so I have been trying to weed early in the morning, in the very heavy dew and have been applying soaker hose to plants on a rotating basis. But that still leaves putting food by (even the bit of heat to blanch a few veggies is noticeable in he kitchen) and housework which as multiplied with the pup.

And speaking of pup, Coffee appears to be a very smart doggie. She is learning quickly about the pee and poop outside thing, and has not messed in the bedroom since about the second night we had her... and she HAS got me up in the wee hours to go out. She seems to know what is expected, just with a bit of confusion and possible lack of maturity (inability to hold urine sufficiently long to get leashed up and taken out on occasion). Her "accidents" are pretty much directly in front of a door (not always the door to outside, though that is becoming increasingly the only place accidents happen.) and since said doors are covered with linoleum or an old mud mat that came with the house, the scolding of "bad dog" only carried the energy needed for training and no extra "oomph" from the stress of a potentially ruined floor.

Hex orders have dropped again, but this is not necessarily a bad thing, as I need the time (once the weather cools enough, especially) to clean and organize the workspace. I do have one job pending -- the painting of a hex on a rock for a friend to place overlooking his garden. And of course I need to update the website.

Other than that, life continues. We have finally got a lumber list and a friend will be ordering it for us from a local fellow with a sawmill, so we can build a small deck and decent set of steps for the back door to the dog yard. This has been an issue since we moved in -- the bottom two "steps" are nearly 18" tall, which makes it difficult for me and the big dog and impossible for the small one. The delay on this is partly a money issue and partly a motivation of Kevin issue.

He spends increasingly more time "lost" or "gone" into his own mind or who knows where.... asleep in part and just not here in part as well. Some of this is from pain, I am sure, some from the fact that even with the CPAP machine, he is not sleeping even close to a "normal" night. However his primary care practitioner finally made a referral to a neurologist for a look at several issues and we had the appointment last week. After an initial terrible meeting, due totally to screw-ups on the part of their staff, we got seen during a cancellation in the early afternoon of the same day as the messed up appointment. It was not fun cooling our heels in Bangor for several hours, with few necessary errands and a Kevin who was hurting, but we did it.

The doc only got started on ONE of the three issues, but even to my untrained eye, the exam found abnormalities for him to work with/on. This is in remarkable contrast to most exams of any sort, in which he comes out "textbook perfect" even though something is obviously the matter. Doc ordered an MRI (two CAT scans have failed to find anything) and a 24 hour EEG (typical EEG was one of those "textboox perfect" tests...) MRI is today at 6 PM and he gets wired up for the EEG next Tues. This is a set up where he wears a unit for 24 hours, and we push a button on the machine, and log in a journal, any "events" that might produce signals they would need to look at in detail.

The neurologist office scheduled BOTH of these appointments while we waited, as well as our next visit to that office -- one of the most efficient medical practices I have seen thus far. I have high hopes that he will uncover something; whether it will be something treatable, I am not sure. K's counselor seems to think that his exposure to ball lightning as a young child may account for some of the abnormalities in his brain.

In the yard, our humming birds and gold finches continue to visit the feeders and I still hear an occasional killdeer and see the swallows swooping on skeeter patrol.

We have been visited by a (couple of?) young skunks. One we both saw ambling across the grass and one was almost surprised by K and Coffee last night on their walk around the house. The young Pepe Le Pew was eating up spilled seed under the backyard bird feeder.

Thus far the two-strand monofiliment deer fence seems to be working and (crossing fingers) the turkeys have yet to find the garden. I have a "bunch" of about a half dozen grapes on one of the two grape vines, and have eaten a few blueberries, but I need to deer fence the berry area and the canes of the branbleberries have been being munched on by deer. I'll look today in the big boxes for the cheap plastic step-in posts, hoping they have resupplied since my last visit.

As I have been trying to get out and weed, I continue to find food in the garden; excavating the visible Brussels sprout plants, I noted the second planting of carrots still trying to grow under the weeds and have begun to give them light and room too... I'll put the soaker on the row later today so I can do a good weeing job on them tomorrow, with luck.

Peppers are not producing well -- no big surprise as they seem picky to me and have not had the care they deserve, but the tomatoes are beginning to come on, as are the cukes. Gotta get "stuff" for pickling today -- cukes and beets for sure.

Whew, that's a lot of words. Now I am typed out...

I am thinking this is going to be a "do nothing" day. Though, as with all statements, that one is relative.

I only have a few hours until I have to put in a full day at the store and I have already washed the towels (just them, on account of predictions of possible T-storms and the fact that coming days are predicted to be good drying days; and THEM, on account of being almost out. Not doing laundry on top of washing TWO dogs can do that...) and the rugs and hung them out and need to go out and put the dog yard fence back. I pulled one section, as we need to bring it tight against the house to keep the pup from getting out, and that part had enough extra, and left it pulled so K could mow the fence row, so it will be easier to get the fence to the ground and put in the ground staples.

But other than that, I am totally not motivated.

Admittedly the last few days have been draining, despite few hours at the store. Monday we had to leave at 6 AM to make it to a medical appt for K at 7 (once again the test found nothing... grrrr....) Yesterday started with a vet appt for Coffee -- for shots and checkup -- and then our "usual" Bangor trip, made more stressful and longer on account of having both dogs with us... pup for socialization and Brandi for a pedicure at Petsmart. It was unusually hot for Maine, though, which meant one of us staying in the car at each stop to monitor dogs and keep the AC running or driving around the parking lot to make a breeze. Coffee is, of course, a people magnet, even more so than Brandi... so that slowed us down as well.

And the last few nights I have not gotten to sleep with my usual speed. It seems insomnia is trading off with fussy pup to keep me getting up and turning over and over. Last night I took an herbal relaxer and was ready for bed on time and almost asleep when Coffee started whining. Wanting to avoid "accidents" I got up, got something on body and feet and out we went. In her defense I must say she DID need to "go" but then would NOT settle down -- finding first one thing then another to chew or "worry." I think the cats were restless too, and perhaps that was adding to the fuss.

For the first time in ages, I do not have hex orders waiting (though I do have one project for a friend -- which he wants painted on a rock -- that I will think about soon.) Nor do I have design clients chomping at the bit, though there are things I CAN do there, as well -- and I do need to respond to an RFQ from the Park Service soon.

But since I can take a "down" day, I am gonna. I am remembering my start in the design world as a business owner/freelancer and how much I enjoyed the ebb and flow of the business cycle: balls to the wall until you want to scream and cry followed by .... nothing.... until you were about to panic over the lack of income. And for me, that cycle is a good thing; I love the rush of "impossible" deadlines and more work than it would appear than one woman could handle but of course one cannot keep that pace forever and the dynamic, rather than a static, balance suits me.

Tomorrow I'll likely spend many hours in town, waiting for K at a neurological evaluation, so I need to get a file transferred to the laptop and I can work on that while I wait. It is an interview about my hex practice for an online publication, with some very insightful questions that require more than just a canned answer.

A friend at work also told me that the New Balance outlet store tent sale (which she recommends highly) starts tomorrow. K has been looking for new tennies and this is a brand the he likes, fits him and wears well, so perhaps we will head to Skowhegan after his appt. I need a new pair of shoes for the store, too -- something leather, black and good for being on my feet. The last candidate for replacement work shoes that I got aren't bad, they just aren't good and if I can find something better, I'll bite. Especially if it's at a good price.

That's life in a nutshell right now.

Say hello to the newest member of our family, Coffee! (Those of you who know the Mainer liking for Allens Coffee (flavored) Brandy will understand our naming convention. Our older Saint is named Brandi.)

She is a 2 mo. old Saint B baby that we got last week, after seeing a sign "Saint Bernard Puppies" on our way home from K's doc appointment in Milo. We stopped and played with them but had no $$ as we had yet to hit Bangor and do banking, and "on the way" home stopped by to find the people not home. I left a business card and they returned the call later and I went back, with $$ to get her.

She just learned how to do steps yesterday (UP, not yet comfortable with the DOWN option) and we are working on house training. Walking on a leash she caught onto quickly (with a harness, not a collar, which she hates) especially when we walk with Brandi. B is pretty tolerant of the baby. There have only been a few "grr"... of the big dog correcting small one variety, however jealousy is in style, as big dog makes sure she gets what is big dog's due (regardless of my active commitment to love on and give attention to her in a heavier portion even than to the baby.)

Today we are off to the vet, first, for her checkup and second set of shots and then to town for an UNTIPPABLE water dish. Coffee loves to lay her head on the edge of the water dish and ends up dumping it... so we have a puppy puddle of a different (and much larger) variety.

Brandi also will go to town, as she is getting a pedicure at Petsmart today.

My first foray into "market" is over for the year, "summer" seems to finally have arrived in Maine just in time -- ironically -- for the cross-quarter time that begins our turn toward fall. Whether you call it "First Harvest," "Lammas" (from the Latin for Loaf Mass), Lughnasa or something else, the period at the first of August marks a turning point on the wheel of the year and this year for me there are other markers as well.

Come mid-month, we will have been here for our first full year. Most of the bittersweet plants have survived and are making a run for growth, now that I have found and excavated them from the grasses. The grapes, blueberries and bramble berries as well are growing, though some of the brambles did not survive and some have been heavily browsed apparently by deer.

The herb garden is in and, though it needs weeding again, seems to be holding its own in large measure. Minus the Basil, which is struggling here as most everywhere from what I hear this year.

There are flowers growing in the flower patch, visible here and there through the weeds and in the veggie patch, hope grows for a small harvest from the vine crops, a gimmer of hope for an ear or two of corn and if the tomatoes and peppers can just keep going -- and cold holds off a bit -- a crop we will have there as well, now that I have deer fenced that area. I could have sworn that the western deer did NOT like tomato vines, but it appears that these guys have munched on the tops of some mater plants as well as the peppers, which I know they love.

Now that market is over, I'll have the leeway to weed more and harvest on a more constant, smaller scale for food to eat and put up for the season.

I still have an unconscious negative response to seeing the bright sunlight shining in the yard, though. Too many years in the southlands, where even the early morning rising sun, shining through the kitchen window into a house still holding the overnight cool, felt like sharp knives attacking my skin, I suppose. Yes, it has been HOT in the garden... I worked a full Wednesday there this week, sun shining and temps peaking in the high 80s... but I need to remind myself that was a PEAK temp and not what I need expect when I open the door in the early morning.

Finding "normal"... which is of course not a point but a range -- and a constantly changing place ... will be my theme this week as we celebrate the first harvest. Here there is no grain to harvest (even normally, when there might be glimmers of corn on the horizon, what wheat is grown locally harvest later in the season) so while I am thankful for the grains, my focus will be directed toward my local wights and the land upon which I stand. There is much to be thankful for, as despite my poor attempts and missed deadlines and lack of necessary tools, we DO have a harvest. They kept their commitment and on my part I will be thankful and redouble my efforts to keep up my part of the bargain next year, for I know They will cut me some slack, but not forever!  LOL

I am feeling strongly the need to tend to the house for the next few days (cleaning up the post-market chaos, making order out of the garden stuff so I can maybe throw in a few seeds for fall crops and an try at overwintering) and then back to the garden of the morning and work as needed in the afternoon, with hex painting stuck in there somewhere. Like I said "finding" normal... not having it already nailed down...